Be with your dog.
Be in the moment.
Be present.
I feel like one of these days someone is going to crash into all of my opinions about obedience commands like the Kool-Aid man crashes through walls.
Fortunately, I’m not famous enough to attract any party crashers yet.
Today, I’m going to talk to you about something that can tremendously transform your dog… and you.
The power of WAITING.
With how fast our world seems to turn, and throw things at us… life can be constantly GO.
When we’re seeking relaxation and comfort… ADDING more instructions, more activity, and more …. stuff can make it even worse.
So ditch the robotic obedience commands, and let them choose.
I know that waiting isn’t always something that’s paired with fun feel good thoughts for us. We think of traffic. The long drive through lines. The fact that the grocery store refuses to open another register.
But in this case, waiting is the best thing you might be able to do.
Wait with your dog.
Wait FOR your dog.
Wait for them to process their emotions, and GIVE THEM THE FREEDOM TO DO SO!
And no, I don’t mean that you should ALLOW your dog to just charge into another dog like a jerk. Definitely don’t do that.
But give them a chance. Give them a chance to get their minds about them, and to fully experience and sift through how they’re feeling.
Dogs produce behavior based on a few things. The most important being:
Emotions + Changes in the environment.
They produce behavior because they are feeling something, and they produce behavior to control, change or manipulate something around them.
A dog will sit, because they know that if they sit, the desirable food item in your hand will lower to their mouth, and that they can eat it. They know this because you have manipulated the environment previously to teach them this pattern.
On the same note… a dog will bark, lunge, pull, whine, or maybe growl when they see another dog. So why are they producing those behaviors?
Because seeing another dog makes them feel something. Usually excitement, frustration, fear, or nervousness.
A dog who feels frustrated and nervous, is going to choose whatever behavior they can find to the be most beneficial to them. Period.
That most beneficial behavior is often the nasty reactivity you’re seeing. They do it because it works. They’re nervous, and would feel better if the dog went away. So they make a big scene and the dog goes away.
It makes sense that they would keep doing it! Why wouldn’t they continue to do something that is working? Just the same way a dog who gets a free Bojangles snack off of the counter will keep doing it… unless it’s no longer successful.
I feel like a train who is quickly starting to lean off the rails, so I’m going to get straight to the point.
Give your dog a chance to feel. Just… WAIT with them.
Let them make a big scene for a few minutes.. while the dog or person over there just… exists.
Wait until they figure out that their behavior is no longer influencing the environment in the way that has been successful in the past.
”my dog might get confused if I don’t tell them what to do though!”
Okay. Let them get confused a little bit.
That confusion is your BEST window of opportunity.
That confusion is where your dog may be most perceptive to feedback that you can offer.
That moment of “holy cow what the heck. This is not how this normally plays out and now I’m starting to question my course of action”
When your dog hits that point… that’s where you swoop in like the superhero you are…. and give them what they need to make it out on the other side a better dog.
That confusion gives you a window. Jump through it!
Jump through it and tell them “hey, yeah. I know it’s not working like it normally does. I know you’re feeling a bit unsure about what you’re doing now.. because it’s not working. Here’s what I’m sure of… and I want you to jump on board with me. Do this with me.”
Even if the “this” of that scenario is NOTHING. Reward them for just existing.. Just BE.
I’m going to paint a picture for you.
You’re sitting at the park with your dog. Literally. You grab a blanket, a bench, a table. And you sit. You hang out.
Another dog comes up, and takes a seat with their owner too. They’re about 50 feet away, minding their own business.
Naturally… your dog does their thing. They start to watch, they start to get excited, pull on the leash, bark, whine, growl.
They start to do whatever thing it is that your dog does.
and NOTHING HAPPENS.
The dog over there minding it’s own business is still there. They’re not moving.
You’re not moving or reacting.
The ONLY thing that’s changed is your dogs behavior… and how they feel.
Imagine how confused they’re going to become… when literally no one does anything?
When the pattern they are so used to doesn’t actually play out?
They’re going to keep making a scene for a few minutes. That’s okay.
Let them process.
Let them see you being an example for them. Calm. Confident. Relaxed.
They’re going to start to calm down… 99% of the time. Some might take longer than others… but it’s going to happen.
USE THAT. REWARD THAT!
That’s your golden spot guys!
Take it!
And again… just BE!
Be with your dog. EXIST.
